Month: July 2018

Check Your Baggage, Please

Check Your Baggage, Please

It is impossible for anyone over 40 to start dating again and not have some baggage. Divorced, never married whatever your relationship status was we all carry issues and hang-ups from the previous relationship. The key is to try to deal with these issues so you do not carry them where it sabotages your chances of finding and keeping love. Try to remember to have an open mind when you meet and start dating someone. Do not project things that others might have said or done to you onto others; always give others a chance. We have to remember not everyone is the same. Most importantly do not let memories or people from your past get into your head or come into your life and ruin chances at happiness. Learn from the past, but leave it there that is where it needs to be if you really want to move forward into love and happiness.

Always Show Love – Never Hesitate

Always Show Love – Never Hesitate

 

For privacy reasons, I do not share many personal details about my life, especially regarding my family. The reason for my going against this rule is I want to take a moment to raise some awareness about a rare autoimmune disorder. It is called juvenile dermatomyositis. My twelve-year-old daughter was diagnosed last month. It can be hard to understand and explain to others. This might help; https://www.rheumatology.org/I-Am-A/Patient-Caregiver/Diseases-Conditions/Dermatomyositis-Juvenile

I am hoping in posting this helps raise awareness and support for this painful and in some cases life-threatening disease. And to remind everyone to always give and show love daily. Whether it is your family, friends, spouses or significant others. We are not promised any certain time on Earth and every day is precious. Do not let one go by without letting those you love know how you feel.

#juveniledermatomyositis #myositis #dermatomyositis #autoimmunedisorders

Dating If You Have Children

Dating If You Have Children

As if dating after 40 was not challenging enough many must consider their children or the children of prospective dates. It is always a good idea never to bring your children into the mix of your dating world unless you are sure all parties are ready. Keep it simple; you want them to know that nothing has changed at home except Mom or Dad will be going out occasionally. A heads-up is, to be honest with anyone you are dating about your kids. You will find for some this is a deal breaker it is good to find that out early. When the time comes to introduce your family and your love interest be relaxed and natural. Do not push anyone to get along with one another immediately. The more time you and your children spend with that important person in it will all fall into place organically and eventually.

#datingwithchildren #datingafter40 #howtodateafterdivorce

Watch Out For Minefields!!

Watch Out For Minefields!!

This is a cautionary tale for people dating at any age; divorced or those just trying to find love. You will run across scammers, catfishers, liars, and people with fake personas and profiles. Some are easy to spot and some are experts at lying and manipulation. Even the smartest of people can fall prey to one of these traps. At one time or another, we have all gotten those spam emails saying you have won money and you know its junk. There will be dating profiles you will come across that are unbelievable. The person looks like they just stepped out of a magazine and are airbrushed. Chances are their profile is fake. Like they say, “If it seems too good to be true chances are it is.” You can chat with these people but be careful. Some are trying to get money, some just like to pretend to be someone they are not. One example is a relative who met someone online. They were together for over a year; close to getting married. Found out before it was too late they were leading a double life seeing multiple people and using them for money. This happens all too often. It is not that we are stupid. It is just that most of us are good people and want to trust others. As you begin to date again keep an open mind but also be mindful of the pitfalls.

#catfish #scammers #liars #fakedatingprofiles #datingagain #becareful

Dating Is Like Gambling

Dating Is Like Gambling

In a weird way, I liken dating to gambling. To me, they have a lot of interesting similarities. Just my opinion but here are the similarities I see in the two things.

 

  • Rely on your instincts if confused; they are invaluable.
  • There will be a lot of ups and downs along the way.
  • Cheating is never a good thing to do.
  • There will be times to take chances and times to play it safe.
  • You need to know when to stop if you are not feeling good about the situation.
  • Tough to hear but the odds will usually against you.
  • Be prepared to lose it all to win big. Either could happen.
  • Have a good poker face; bad idea to reveal too much too soon. Most importantly recognize when you are winning and walk away do not try for something better. #gambling #takeachance #dating #winbig
Don’t You Dare Question Your Self Worth!

Don’t You Dare Question Your Self Worth!

Getting divorced can be one of the most stressful and confusing things most ever endure. Even if you initiate the divorce the change can shake you to your core. It can leave you questioning value and self-worth. The same is true when you begin to date again. Most feel apprehensive, uncomfortable and lacking in confidence. Be prepared there will be at least one time during the dating process where you start to wonder is it me? Looking for love again can be discouraging and trying. Mismatches and rejections can really make you feel unworthy. You have to have a bit of a tough skin and patience dating after 40. There are fewer potential matches for everyone. When that person you have a mutual connection with and an attraction to comes along you realize they were worth it all.

It Is Okay To Want To Settle Down But Don’t Settle

It Is Okay To Want To Settle Down But Don’t Settle

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When you find yourself single again after 40 many people take a different view on dating. You may start thinking you are too old to find love again. This is simply not true. Age should not keep you from trying to find someone special.  Do not let the feeling you only have a finite amount of time and chances to find love make you rush. Take your time move at a pace where you are comfortable. Make sure you know what you want and be true to yourself. You might have to alter your perception of the perfect mate. You do not want to miss out on someone who is wonderful because they are a little different from the ideal person you have imagined. That being said do not settle for just anyone because you think you have no options. There is love out there for everyone you just have to keep your heart and mind open.

#donotsettle #singleagain #loveisoutthere #waitforlove

Dating Website Warnings

Dating Website Warnings

One thing you will quickly learn especially if you are using a dating website is you must have a sense of humor. You are going to get some interesting (odd and sometimes downright weird) messages. You will run across very memorable profiles and may even chat and interact with some people you cannot believe are real. To keep your sanity in your dating search keep an open mind and be prepared for anything and everything. Below are a few scenarios that either myself a family member or friend has run across on a dating website. Do not give up hope after you read the list below. I myself encountered many of these listed below in dating profiles.

  • A person who said in profile they were married but looking to add a third person to the mix.
  • Someone who was in a long-term relationship and wanted someone else but the significant other had no idea.
  • many who have very strict criteria on looks and age even though they should maybe not be so picky.
  • Profile picture wearing a mesh shirt and a ski mask. I kid you not!
  • Some with proclivities and fetishes you never dreamed of even in your worst nightmare.
  • And of course scammers, catfishers, and those who could not tell the truth if their life depended on it!

Do not give up hope after you read the list below. I myself encountered many of these listed below in dating profiles. Shortly after that, I met an amazing man; our story is still in progress. So stay positive, take some with a grain of salt and don’t give up. #datingwebsitenightmares #datingwebsitewarnings #donotgiveuphope